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Good riddance to the shittest trends of 2014

  • Published in Trends
WorstTrends2014
Illustration by Liam Johnstone

"You think fashion's your friend. My friend, fashion is danger". Flight Of The Conchords couldn't have said wiser words. Although the splendid art of fashion is held dearly in all of our hearts, it is not exempt from a crease here and there. Therefore, it is imperative that we take time to reflect on and iron out a few of 2014's perils.

The Slogan Tee.

crop top slogan tshirt

There must be a market for daft, egocentric, nonsense printed on tees as they circulate year after year. It doesn't necessarily have to be a quote by the likes of Thomas Hardy, just spare us from reading "Out of your league" and "It's not my fault I look this good".

The Ill-fitted Beanie.

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I'm just going to call it 'The Ill-fitted Beanie' as I have no idea if it has a name and was blissfully unaware anyone sported such a peculiarity until a year or so ago. I am unable to express in words how much I want these beanies to appropriately fit the crown. It is odd, unpleasantly odd.

Tassels and Fringes.

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I can't really decipher why I feel so uneasy at the thought of a tassel. Maybe it is the perception that the garment is either growing hair or has had an unfortunate run-in with a paper shredder.

Sports Luxe.

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An amalgamation of mesh, waistbands, oversized jerseys and sequins - it looks as appealing as it sounds. Often accompanied with heels because, of course, you'd not want to give the impression that you actually play sport.

The Slip Dress.

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The 'Nineties Revival' has brewed for a few years now and, by and large, I can cope with the influx of Grunge, Clueless, Daria and 1994-Melissa-Joan-Hart adoration. The slip dress, on the other hand, is so dull and frumpy that not even a flannelette tied around the waist or a pair of Dr. Martens can save it.

 

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